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So long story short I’m curious as to why it might be so hard for me to apologize to my significant other. He has been verbally/emotionally abusive towards me on many occasions and I never really had much self worth to begin with. Our arguments are usually over something stupid that old married couples would fight about, but I’m the type of person that doesn’t like to fight or listen to people scream and yell and I will simply walk away from the conversation and let it cool off and then maybe resume at a later time, but that infuriates my significant other. I’ve asked him to try approaching me in a different manner or talk to me without screaming and belittling me to the point where I’m so upset that I don’t even feel like apologizing for any wrong doing I may have had in whatever disagreement we may of had. He claims he will never stop talking to me in these ways until I stop doing the stupid things I know drive him nuts so therefore I deserve to be talked to in this way. I know I’ve done wrong in this relationship and I acknowledge that. I am remorseful and I do have a conscious, but he claims that because I cannot apologize or have a hard time doing so that I’m a narcissist, I don’t have a conscious, I don’t feel remorse, and that’s not all..I apparently have a personality disorder, BPD. I try to explain to him why I feel like he doesn’t not necessarily deserve an apology, but as to why I believe his part in our arguments makes it almost impossible to feel like I can apologize without being criticized or told that I’m full of shit or that my apology wasn’t sincere or that I’m two faced, fake, or lying. I’m just so over feeling like my feelings are never validated and thoughts are never taken into consideration or even believed for that matter. I’ve recommended therapy and he would agree one day and then the next day say there was no way he would ever go to counseling with me. I’m open to any type of feedback you may have for me. Sorry, I’m at my wits end.

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closed as off-topic by Steven Jeuris Mar 6 at 8:40

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Questions about the behavior of an individual person are off-topic. If you are concerned about a potential medical issue, please seek the advice of a medical professional. For more information, see Why was my self-help question closed as off-topic?." – Steven Jeuris
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  • $\begingroup$ We're sorry, but this is an academic site, so we can't provide help in here. But to give a quick answer, it is because everyone has a big pride, and for narcissistics they have more. Hope that helps. $\endgroup$ – Ooker Mar 7 at 8:45