It seems to be a fact that human sexuality is not completely compatible with the dominant social norm of monogamous relationships. We call it "cheating" on each other if one has sexual intercourse with someone outside their relationship and it is considered as morally wrong by most people.
Now when you ask a "cheating" person about their behavior, you often get the explanation that they did it because of their partners lack of interest in sex.
When you ask people why they think that cheating is wrong, you often get an answer like: it's a horrible violation of trust. Why trust? Well because we seem to have an (mostly unspoken) agreement to not cheat in a relationship and we trust our partners to comply with it.
While I completely understand the sense of such an agreement in a relationship where both people have a roughly equal demand for sexuality, I can't understand why it seems to be the same with people who have little to no need for sexual intercourse.
While I presume that in a healthy relationship you (1) would know about your partners higher need for sexuality and (2) want your partner to be happy, it seems cruel to demand them to renounce something that has little to no value to yourself.
Imagine the following: what if this was not about sex but let's say food. Imagine someone didn't have the ability to taste and could live from eating a piece of bread a day. Obviously such a person would have no joy in cooking. But what if they were in a relationship and demanded their partner to only eat bread as well, even while with others? What if the partner secretly went to a fancy restaurant? Who would you side with and why?
So I want a discussion of the following questions:
Why do people seek to have control about the sex lives of their partners no matter how little value it has for themselves?
Why would a person with little or no sex drive feel hurt when their partner has let's say a purely sexual side affair.
Why is it, in the eyes of the majority of people, contemptible to cheat, while it seems to be widely accepted to effectively demand your partner to renounce on something that is undisputably a basic human need?