I like to put ketchup on my pork chops but my wife gets mad that I do this before I taste her pork chops. We had a discussion about why she would be upset and that I just add the ketchup without first tasting the dish.

My View: I obviously dont feel its a big deal to add to something I was going to eat anyway and it did not reduce the amount I enjoyed it, if anything it made it better for me.

Her View: Was that it was rude to the cook and incorrect etiquette to modify the food in anyway that was served to a person. She believes that you should not modify the food in anyway during the meal.

Scenario 1: You get a burger at your friends BBQ and you put ketchup and mustard on the burger. No one is offended in anyway. (she agrees to this one)

Scenario 2: You go to Gordon Ramsey's burger restaurant and he serves you a burger made by him. I am sure the burger is good, but I still like to eat burgers with ketchup and mustard on it. (she thinks this is ultimately rude)

We would like to know if the scenario, occasion and or formality of the meal dictates the etiquette in which the eater is supposed to follow some unspoken eating rules or is this just a difference of opinions that are conflicting with a personal taste preference?

Not ignoring the persons feelings, but are they presumptuous in that someone should eat the food they were given the way you dictated it to them? Or should they be free to eat and enjoy the meal the way they would like (still enjoying the meal).

Please help with any feedback!


closed as off-topic by Arnon Weinberg, Fizz, DesignerAnalyst, Seanny123, AliceD Jan 6 '18 at 19:34

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave these specific reasons:

  • "This question is not framed within the cognitive sciences. It is based on assumptions which are not made explicit, are not well-motivated (e.g., referenced), or are not held to be true within the cognitive sciences. For more information, see Why was my question closed as “not framed in cognitive sciences”?" – AliceD
  • "Questions about the behavior of an individual person are off-topic. If you are concerned about a potential medical issue, please seek the advice of a medical professional. For more information, see Why was my self-help question closed as off-topic?." – Arnon Weinberg, Fizz, DesignerAnalyst, Seanny123
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    $\begingroup$ This is gonna get closed as off-topic, but whether food should be eaten as served depends on cultural aspects as well. In particular you can even get kicked out of some French restaurants for asking for a different seasoning. $\endgroup$ – Fizz Jan 5 '18 at 0:41
  • $\begingroup$ And apparently asking for the common man's ketchup at high-end steak house is also faux pas, even in America: bolesblogs.com/2006/09/12/never-do-these-things-in-a-restaurant $\endgroup$ – Fizz Jan 5 '18 at 0:53
  • $\begingroup$ I agree with Fizz, but t's an interesting question - I've asked over at SeasonedAdvice if it may be ontopic there $\endgroup$ – AliceD Jan 5 '18 at 9:09
  • $\begingroup$ Thanks All, Just to be clear I was looking for the psychology behind the feelings not the social norms of offending people. "why" are they offended at all. Is what I was looking at. $\endgroup$ – Rob Jan 6 '18 at 14:57
  • $\begingroup$ I have been consulting other moderators across the SE network and I received notice the question could hold promise on Interpersonal Skills. I'm putting it on hold here as it is offtopic on a scientific stack I'm afraid. The mod there encourages you to re-ask the question over there, instead of migrating it, so that it can be permanently closed here. I'm upvoting the question, just because I really like it :) $\endgroup$ – AliceD Jan 6 '18 at 19:33

Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.