If someone constantly invalidates your experiences and feelings does that mean they are a narcissist?

For example, if I am really hurt by someone and I go to a friend for support and my friend always invalidates everything I tell them does that mean they lack empathy? The interaction is always confusing and the fact of the matter is always deflected. They say things like 'I'm sure he didn't mean it. That wasn't his intention. etc.' Always!

Is that a sign of narcissism? They can't feel the pain themselves or they can't see it so they dismiss it?

But they say they care then impose what they think you should feel onto you. Self-absorbed?


1 Answer 1


It really depends. first of all, the problem might be in the person who asks, maybe they really are super sensitive and what they are upset about is not rational.

Also you can never know from someones words that they lack empathy or not. Some people are just tough, maybe he was in some back breaking situations in life that yours seem minor.

And also lack of empathy is just a small part of narcissism and is not a "only and only" determinant.

If you wanna see if others have empathy or not, you better watch their acts rather than analyzing their words. do they have criminal tendencies or ever were accused of criminal act? are they non-empathetic in their job? are they careless about others life situations? are they reckless? do they put others in trouble to get something they want? and so on.

  • $\begingroup$ Yeah but sensitive or not it's not right to invaldate $\endgroup$ Commented Feb 2, 2016 at 16:52
  • $\begingroup$ it's not really about right or wrong, it's better for you to him, not invalidate. it's a matter of EQ rather than a major psychological disorder like Narcissism . $\endgroup$ Commented Feb 2, 2016 at 18:58
  • $\begingroup$ You could argue that it's a form abuse $\endgroup$ Commented Feb 3, 2016 at 16:03
  • $\begingroup$ @user1261710 -- be sure not to confuse abuse with negligence or simple lack of concern. If I ignore an unsolicited sales attempt aimed at me while walking through a shopping mall, is this abuse on my part? Is failing to pick up the phone when I know the caller is trying to sell me something a form of abuse? How about failing to respond to a spam email? Abuse implies intentional harm or exploitation. Negligence implies failed responsibility. Simple lack of concern implies neither. $\endgroup$
    – Michael
    Commented Jul 18, 2016 at 22:55

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