I've been a loner all my life. I've found that I'm scared of "hanging out" with people I don't know or making new friends. I don't want this question to be personalised as such, but I didn't know how else to ask it. I've been hurt as a very small child from other kids my age, bullied and never saw other resembling the teens close to my then age the same ever again.

Could a person that has had no friends ever hope to be a person worth being around? I really do not care if your answers do not apply to my situation, or if it is answers I interpret wrongly or apply incorrectly - I understand I've asked this on the internet and not seeked a professional for this. I just want opinions on this, as I do not have anyone to talk to and paying for it is financially overwhelming for my family at this stage.

I feel that people that has had no friends and have been sheltered in other ways as well has little chance of getting to know other people or becoming someone that other people would perceive as interesting. If ever someone would approach them to ask if they wouldn't want to hang out, they would not be sure whether it is pity or whether they would have ANYTHING in common - thus uncertainty and avoidance are what are usually chosen. I find it hard to believe that people that has had friends all their lives, have fit in all their lives, would ever be able to enjoy the same conversations they are used to having-( with other popular people, kids with money and hobbies, over mutual interests and bold, vibrant personalities) with someone that's never had friends, for whom that is like another planet.

We all know friends influence the person you are, and shape you into who you are. But what of the person that has never had that? Without any input from anyone near their age? Sheltered among the sheltered...

Could a person that has never had friends, make one? Or hope to overcome this psychological barrier that causes them to believe other people are other people, and they are them? Even if they did, that wouldn't erase the lack of social development, thus people wouldn't want them to be friends with themselves.

Also- what is the psychological impact of having no friends? I probably experienced it, but cannot see what it really is because I've never known what "socially psychologically healthy" to compare it to.

Thankyou very much!


closed as off-topic by Krysta, AliceD, user7759, Christian Hummeluhr, Josh de Leeuw Aug 20 '15 at 13:19

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Questions about the behavior of an individual person are off-topic. If you are concerned about a potential medical issue, please seek the advice of a medical professional. For more information, see Why was my self-help question closed as off-topic?." – AliceD, Community, Christian Hummeluhr
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  • $\begingroup$ It might be helpful for answering your question if you included how old you are, since answers may be somewhat different for different aged people, and answers can try to include your age range specifically. $\endgroup$ – Chelonian Aug 19 '15 at 4:17
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    $\begingroup$ Your questions are well put and its clearly important that you find answers. Unfortunately, I fear we are not well equipped to address them here and the question is likely to be closed because it is opinion-based and self-help related, which is off topic for this site. That being said, I am certain that you can learn to overcome your social anxiety and make friends. I encourage you to seek help to do this. $\endgroup$ – user7759 Aug 19 '15 at 7:54
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    $\begingroup$ As a starting point to find a solution (that is compatible with your financial situation) check out this post on mental health resources: meta.cogsci.stackexchange.com/questions/820/…. Metafilter.com's wiki mental health on support resources mefiwiki.com/wiki/ThereIsHelp is also a good start. $\endgroup$ – user7759 Aug 19 '15 at 7:56

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